Empathy

We live in a polarized world. It’s this versus that, me against you, and if we don’t agree 100% then we can’t be friends. I’ll stay away from politics (you’re welcome) but as an example, I met with a friend at a coffee shop today. I’ve known this friend for a long time, and am very grateful for her. One of the coolest things is that we are from different cultures. Amongst other things, she comes from a culture more collective and community-centered than I do, and our personal values are slightly different there.

My friend was discussing plans to move out of her family’s home for a time to live more independently as a necessity for her future goals. She was discussing her family planning to give some financial support to her even when she lived elsewhere, and her struggles to leave her home of origin. The lady sitting next to us starting to give my friend glances with the cleared-throat-judgy-cough as my friend, an adult, discussed her concerns of leaving her parents.

Then, my friend started discussing her culture. What is normal for her culture. What she has witnessed in other people from her culture as they struggle with their cultural identity living in America. And the pain living in America she has seen in herself and many others as a person of different background.

The lady next to us started giving my friend a different expression. It wasn’t so…judgy, and more open with curiosity. I wonder if with this particular discussion, what would happen if someone with a less collective mindset like me went to live where my friend’s culture is predominant? I would probably be the one getting judgy looks.

Maybe the next time the lady sitting next to us sees someone who presents similar to my friend, she won’t be so quick to write off as a label. What if we all considered the “other side”‘s background, history, experience, and pain? We certainly don’t have to give up our own opinions, but maybe we can start having more empathy and understanding. What would happen if more people did?